rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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