is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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