69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
