is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
