it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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