My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
