he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
