If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
