while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
