No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
