Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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