if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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