Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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