So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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