You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
