After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
