If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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