Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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