They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
