Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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