im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
