he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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