It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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