I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
