It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
