That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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