I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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