my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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