Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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