No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Randomize
