So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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