You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
