just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
