youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
