i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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