literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
