Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
