watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
