my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
