And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
