i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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