i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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