the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
