Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
