why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
