she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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