You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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