im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
