I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
