Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
