Apparently you make a good broom.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
