I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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