Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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