State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
