I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
